Getting Better All the Time...

Okay, so first off, I am sitting in my family room at my folks house and I am absolutely freezing. Maybe its the wet hair. Or maybe its because nobody will turn the damn heat on! But I digress.

Last night was the Sharks game, I had an awesome time with Erica, James, and Kim. It is definitely something I would like to do a little more often. Just getting out of the house is always helpful.

This week has been full of ups and downs, and due to the subject matter of my last few blogs, it is clear what has been on my mind. And yes, there have been developments (as there always are) but I am choosing to stay happy and realize that happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So here's to the weekend, I need to get my grandma shopping done tomorrow. Aaack!

Weird Days...

I have been sitting around my apartment tonight, just feeling sad for no real reason. If I could pinpoint the source, it would make my life so much easier. I need to be a happier person, and I have a feeling it would be a hell of a lot easier if I knew what is was that troubled me so. I think I keep blaming others for my unhappiness.

Truthfully, though, I am the only one who is in charge of my happiness. I need to remind myself of that, daily.

This picture of me kind of cheers me up... so there we go...

Thankful...

It's been a week or two since I have last posted, but I think that sometimes it takes the holiday (or the holidays that are actually coming up) to slow down and appreciate some of the more important things... I guess if I were to unplug completely I could really reflect, but lets be honest, I am not really the type of person to unplug completely... but nevertheless...

Today, my Dad suggested that we play a family game of pick-up basketball down at Anneli's school. I was slightly reluctant to do anything, as I usually like to veg out and empty my brain on days off of work. I've also been into my own stuff, which has caused me to focus almost entirely on this part of my life and my own inadequacies... I feel like sometimes I just view myself as just going through the motions because this other part of me is so dedicated to this obsession that I can't bring myself to get over. I will, but as of now, I haven't yet.

I feel like I got into some daydream montage in my head, like the movies, and literally my friends, family, co-workers have to snap me out of it. But today, since it was Thanksgiving, I decided to push myself out of this funk and really authentically be present with my family this holiday (OMG - that sounds like some crazy Oprah-esque rhetoric).

And as we played basketball, we laughed, joked around and had an overall good time. For the first time in a while, my thoughts were not dominated by this cancer-like obsession, I was more focused on being me and trying to be happy. That is my goal from now on - to be happy and to attempt to be authentically present in my happiness.

I am thankful for my family this year (and every year). I am thankful for my parents, still being married and providing a solid base for myself and my siblings. I am thankful for all of my siblings and the relationships we have. Sometimes it is difficult based on schedules, distance, etc. but I am glad that we have grown up enough to be friends and sibling and there isn't a huge strain on the relationships that we have. I have some friends who can't stand their siblings, not us. I am thankful for Anneli. I am thankful that she came into our lives. For all of her crazy making, and there is quite a bit of it, she has given me an appreciation of how easy my life is, but her ability to dust herself off everyday and to try again in the face of all of these challenges, gives me the strength to keep trying in my career.

In closing, I hope everybody finds something that they are thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving, and lets get ready for the $hopping $eason...

OMG...OMG...OMG...

So, of course, since I live in the bay area, I yet again was not allowed to see the Steelers game. And, they were playing the San Diego Chargers, so by rights, I really should have been able to see this game. But alas, I could not because of the stupid bay area rule that do not allow games to competing with the 49ers home games.

So, instead, I had to watch the 49ers stomp the Rams (even though they are coached by a guy my parents went to college with) and I am stuck watching the Gamecast on ESPN.com.

The Gamecast did not do the game justice! To see the highlights (including the botched call by the officials) you have to go to: http://www.nfl.com/gamecenter?game_id=29685&season=2008&displayPage=tab_gamecenter

TP was so robbed... I can't even find the words to say it.

But I heart my Steelers... we came away with a W. It feels good to be 7-3...

This sucks...

My car isn't quite paid off yet (I am so close)... but I just had to drop some serious coin to get the front brakes replaced. I hate it when you have to incur expenses on something that is not even paid off yet. Grrr... Oh, and by the way, the stupid new manager at my apartment had the new painting team come and power wash the apartment building today (said it wouldn't happen until Monday) and it proceeded to get my freshly washed car that was parked in the car port completely dirty. Now I have to go to Ducky's, Lozano's or whatever and get it rewashed.... because I suck at getting all of the water spots off. Eh, I'm in Los Altos this weekend... I might just do it myself - since I am attempting to be frugal...

More Election Stuff Talking About J-Town...

I DID IT!!!!!!

It took my flippin' forever, but I finally finished "As I Lay Dying". The book was really slow, but as part of my own personal campaign to read all of the American Literature that I was too lazy to read in high school/college...