Happy New Year!

Okay, so I have been kind of absent from my blogging, I guess it is the holidays that were just getting to me. But I am back, and I am ready to start 2009 off right.

2008 wasn't a bad year for me. I started a new job, made some new friends, and have learned more about myself. However, as I continue to grow and become a more evolved person, I want to give myself some resolutions.

(1) Continue to get healthy. I have been working on this for a while now. I have pushed myself more and more; but I always forget to find the balance between my mental health and physical health. I am going to work on being thinner, happier, and challenge myself mentally.

(2) This one is related to the first one, but not completely. I resolve to start looking at business schools. I feel like if I have an MBA in my pocket, it can definitely help me move up in my career.

(3) Saving $$$. I know, I know. Everybody is probably resolving for this. I am already saving a fair amount of money, but I need to exercise some self control in spending. But again, I do like pretty things. Including an HDTV and blackberry. (sigh) Oh, capitalism, why are you so pretty and shiny?

(4) Taking more pride in myself and my possessions. Okay, so there was the camera incident. Yes, it was fueled by waaay too much Southern Comfort, Vodka, and Beer. However, I let in go for a swim in my lovely red drink cup. I need to recognize that I do spend money on all of these things and they are not all completely disposable. I will again try to make myself realize that I need to work on these things.

(5) As cliche and ridiculous as it may sound, I want to resolve to be happier and if that means finding a guy that will be somebody for me that will balance me out - so be it. Sometimes I think I found that person, but as my friends point out to me time and again, it is not right, but it does point out to me that I need to either provide a calming influence on myself, or find someone who will do this for me.

There is a lot to look forward to in 2009. My friends, family are getting married, which will be fun. I look forward to seeing my friends and family grow and spending time with everyone. Not to be too mushy, but thank you to everyone who has been there for me this past year and I can't wait to get 2009 started!

Sidenote: I am watching the Penn State/USC game - Why does SC make me hate them so much? Go Nittany Lions!

Thankful...

It's been a week or two since I have last posted, but I think that sometimes it takes the holiday (or the holidays that are actually coming up) to slow down and appreciate some of the more important things... I guess if I were to unplug completely I could really reflect, but lets be honest, I am not really the type of person to unplug completely... but nevertheless...

Today, my Dad suggested that we play a family game of pick-up basketball down at Anneli's school. I was slightly reluctant to do anything, as I usually like to veg out and empty my brain on days off of work. I've also been into my own stuff, which has caused me to focus almost entirely on this part of my life and my own inadequacies... I feel like sometimes I just view myself as just going through the motions because this other part of me is so dedicated to this obsession that I can't bring myself to get over. I will, but as of now, I haven't yet.

I feel like I got into some daydream montage in my head, like the movies, and literally my friends, family, co-workers have to snap me out of it. But today, since it was Thanksgiving, I decided to push myself out of this funk and really authentically be present with my family this holiday (OMG - that sounds like some crazy Oprah-esque rhetoric).

And as we played basketball, we laughed, joked around and had an overall good time. For the first time in a while, my thoughts were not dominated by this cancer-like obsession, I was more focused on being me and trying to be happy. That is my goal from now on - to be happy and to attempt to be authentically present in my happiness.

I am thankful for my family this year (and every year). I am thankful for my parents, still being married and providing a solid base for myself and my siblings. I am thankful for all of my siblings and the relationships we have. Sometimes it is difficult based on schedules, distance, etc. but I am glad that we have grown up enough to be friends and sibling and there isn't a huge strain on the relationships that we have. I have some friends who can't stand their siblings, not us. I am thankful for Anneli. I am thankful that she came into our lives. For all of her crazy making, and there is quite a bit of it, she has given me an appreciation of how easy my life is, but her ability to dust herself off everyday and to try again in the face of all of these challenges, gives me the strength to keep trying in my career.

In closing, I hope everybody finds something that they are thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving, and lets get ready for the $hopping $eason...