Thankful...

It's been a week or two since I have last posted, but I think that sometimes it takes the holiday (or the holidays that are actually coming up) to slow down and appreciate some of the more important things... I guess if I were to unplug completely I could really reflect, but lets be honest, I am not really the type of person to unplug completely... but nevertheless...

Today, my Dad suggested that we play a family game of pick-up basketball down at Anneli's school. I was slightly reluctant to do anything, as I usually like to veg out and empty my brain on days off of work. I've also been into my own stuff, which has caused me to focus almost entirely on this part of my life and my own inadequacies... I feel like sometimes I just view myself as just going through the motions because this other part of me is so dedicated to this obsession that I can't bring myself to get over. I will, but as of now, I haven't yet.

I feel like I got into some daydream montage in my head, like the movies, and literally my friends, family, co-workers have to snap me out of it. But today, since it was Thanksgiving, I decided to push myself out of this funk and really authentically be present with my family this holiday (OMG - that sounds like some crazy Oprah-esque rhetoric).

And as we played basketball, we laughed, joked around and had an overall good time. For the first time in a while, my thoughts were not dominated by this cancer-like obsession, I was more focused on being me and trying to be happy. That is my goal from now on - to be happy and to attempt to be authentically present in my happiness.

I am thankful for my family this year (and every year). I am thankful for my parents, still being married and providing a solid base for myself and my siblings. I am thankful for all of my siblings and the relationships we have. Sometimes it is difficult based on schedules, distance, etc. but I am glad that we have grown up enough to be friends and sibling and there isn't a huge strain on the relationships that we have. I have some friends who can't stand their siblings, not us. I am thankful for Anneli. I am thankful that she came into our lives. For all of her crazy making, and there is quite a bit of it, she has given me an appreciation of how easy my life is, but her ability to dust herself off everyday and to try again in the face of all of these challenges, gives me the strength to keep trying in my career.

In closing, I hope everybody finds something that they are thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving, and lets get ready for the $hopping $eason...