It's time to move on...

So when I update my Facebook status with the statement that is time to move on, it must really be time to move on, right?

Oddly enough, in my own quiet way (if I don't include the fact that I vocalized this to LD) I am coming to terms with the way things are with the boy.

They are never going to be the way I want them, and all I become is disappointed. I am becoming increasingly disappointed with him by the day, hour, minute, second...

I find myself trying to avoid him, and seeking him out all at the same time. It is a messed up thing to do. It's not fair to me, my work, and the friendship I pretend to have with him.

One of my co-workers made the point to me yesterday: "He's only interested in himself. No matter whether you are his girlfriend or his friend he will only give you the time of day when it is convenient for him - and that is not what you want."

And while that is true, I have been holding onto this glimmer of hope that the stars might align and I will be able to... honestly, I don't even know what. But I thought this would be my chance. We were connecting and maybe for once I could get past all of the silly thoughts that dance around in my head. Maybe it would be something real. Maybe he could be somebody to bring a smile to my face and know what is important to me. To see me for who I really am. And I think he does see that to a certain extent. I just think that by putting myself in these strange situations, I am just setting myself up for failure.

As I said to LD tonight... he is always going to disappoint me. The sooner I realize that, the better off I will be.