Grandpa Update...

Bad news on the grandpa front. My living grandfather Molloy has had Alzheimer's for about 10 years. He has been getting progressively worse, and as far as we can tell he has had some aggressive tendencies towards my grandmother.

He has also been having issues with soiling himself and more or less, "marking his territory" in the house. He also refuses to bathe, only will do so when a man tells him to do so. He will listen to my Dad when he tells him to do this, but when a woman tells him this, you can forget about him getting it done, because its not going to happen.

We have tried multiple times to put him into a facility. My grandmother fights this with every fiber of her being. I think she may view this as a reflection on her ability to take care of him, but honestly, who can take care of a grown man who is stronger than her and has no common sense, no mental understanding or right or wrong. The only thing that he really has is his brute strength. We have tried to convince her, but maybe she might be at the point where she is willing to surrender to the idea of getting him into a facility (I am definitely keeping my fingers crossed on this one).

My great uncle Chuck, who was 78 years old, 2 years younger than my grandfather, also had Alzheimer's. His Alzheimer's had not progressed to the extent of my grandfather's, but he was definitely on the road to being on the same mental plane as my grandfather. On Friday, Uncle Chuck had a stroke and passed away. I can't help but wish that is was my grandfather. Does that make me a bad person? My grandfather is not there, his body is, but the brilliant educator that my grandfather was, left us long ago. I feel awful saying it, but I want my grandmother to have her life back, and I honestly think that if she was freed from this metaphorical prison, it would not only drastically improve her quality of life, but it would allow her to do whatever she wants to do.

Tonight, Papa and Grandma had a face-off on him getting a bath. There was a 3-4 hour standoff, and the only thing that got him to clean himself, was my Aunt Kath promising him an ice cream outing. Its so sad that this is what my grandfather's life has come to.