Dear Golds Gym,
You think I don't see those emails that you send me. How you just ever so delicately suggest that I should go to the gym. By clogging up my inbox with messages about new offers for personal training and deals to add on to the gym membership that I don't really use.
I am proud of the work I have done to lose my weight and get healthy, but your constant reminders of how there are not enough hours in the day does not seem to help - it only stresses me out more!
Please stop telling me that the reason I am getting these emails is because of my "relationship" with Gold's Gym. Relationship? Okay, if that is a relationship, then I have something to tell you. It's not you, its me. I think we should see other people. I am cheating on your with my apartment, laptop, refrigerator, of whatever other thing needs my attention at the moment. By the way... can you really have a "relationship" with a place or a thing? I guess maybe you can. I don't really understand it.
Oh, Gold's Gym... playing on my Catholic guilt and knowing that every time I drive by I feel bad that I am not there, but then realize how much I don't like the pulsating tunes of dance music, hence why I stay away from clubs and discotheques.
I see your guilt, and I raise you a turn of my head and the flip of my hair. See how that cold sholder feels Golds Gym. I will show up when I am good and ready.
In the meantime, you have my gym dues to sustain you.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
No comments:
Post a Comment