Brave New World

So, I am less than 5 days away from taking my first trip to Europe. I am not really sure how I feel about this, and can't help but think that if I had done some of this traveling earlier in my life, that I wouldn't feel so apprehensive about taking this trip. But alas, here I am 4+ days out and trying to pack and prevent myself from breaking out into hives (its happened twice this week).

Why am I scared? I don't know. Is it financial? Maybe, but I don't think that's entirely it. I think that it has a lot to do with pushing myself further (at least geographically) than I ever thought I could go. The only thing I can compare this to is to when I moved to Chicago. But even then, I had a fainting episode in Ghiradelli Square, so I am pretty sure that my coping abilities have not really improved over the past few years.

I am really trying to get myself to a place where I can actually enjoy the experience, if I even know how. I am traveling with some amazing friends, but I can't help but think that I shouldn't be doing this. Do I deserve to go? Should I really be working? Buying the computer, couch, chair that I really want instead of staying in hotels in Europe, eating foods that are beyond my points level, and mainly not being as responsible as I should be. Or is it that I don't cut myself enough slack in my life to relax and have a good time?

Whatever this feeling is, it doesn't really matter because I will soon be on that airplane heading to a place I've never been before.

Back to the Bay...

After a long, relaxing weekend in Southern California (with my favorite SoCal resident) I am back in the Bay Area (Not the B.A., right, E?). I had a great time checking out parts of LA, that I've never seen before... I rode the Metro (surprisingly clean... perhaps my standards are low due to the El and Bart), had some muy delicioso taquitos on Olvera Street (and bought Anneli a pretty awesome pink guitar), and then checked out the Our Lady of Angels cathedral and gift shop. I love that going to these places sometimes allows me to reconnect with my faith, which is tied so directly to some of my familial memories, that to me I feel connected with the little girl in church all those years ago. I picked up a goodie for my grandmother. But she won't get this little present until I see her in July :)

All in all, it was fun. It's a lot of driving in a weekend, but I am always so excited to see old friends and just relax. Which we did. Walked around downtown LA, saw a movie being filmed, and all of the prop cars (which was pretty cool), and just had a chance to chat and reconnect without all the craziness. Now, if I can keep this relaxation up before Europe. That will be the ultimate test.

Giants Tickets Fail...

I am a huge baseball fan. And today was the day that pre-sale tickets went on sale. I could get some tickets for other games during the season, but the only ticket I will allow myself purchase is the opening day ticket, and it looks like those are going on sale during my meeting with H&R Block. Lovely. Oh well, I rather have my taxes done before I go to Europe, maybe I can buy them on my iPhone while I get my taxes done. Such is my life...

Battle @ the scale...

So, I guess I will always have a battle with the scale. My weight issues are never really ever going to go anywhere. As my naturally slender mother puts it, "You will always have this battle, Stephanie, you just need to know how to live with it." (Sigh) Such is my life.

Last week, my newest issue of Shape Magazine came in the mail. I read it cover to cover. Typically, this does not happen, because I get bored halfway through (or hungry). I was really inspired by this idea of eating smaller meals every three hours. And so, began the newest twist in my weight loss journey.

Also in this issue, the idea of having hot water in the AM with lemon to help get rid of the toxins. I'm not sure it does that, but it does get me started in a way that coffee never could. Mind over matter, you ask? Perhaps. But nevertheless, I am improving.

This plan has worked so far. Since starting this program on Tuesday of last week, I lost 4.8 lbs. Not too bad considering I didn't work out or do anything other than focusing on my eating, which I will most likely continue to do for a while. I might even keep myself trained before my European vacation. But that Europe trip is a discussion for another time.

Here's to hoping I can keep this up!